So I've been "teen-sitting" for the last four days. What that means is that I make sure my friend's two teenage boys don't have a huge party and burn the house down while their mom is out-of-town.

Yesterday, the teens in question made me watch Frank Zappa's Baby Snakes.
I don't have anything positive to say about Frank Zappa. Well, okay, maybe he's an odd-ball genius of sorts but why all the potty humor? I mean why be talented as hell and then just sing songs literally about poop, women's breasts and beer? Oh I know I would've loved this crap when I was younger, but now it just seems so stupid. My apologies to all the Zappa fans out there.

Then, get this. A friend of the teens came over and she had two "medium" sized snakes with her that she recently acquired. I was teen-pressured into holding one of the snakes just for the experience of it. I kept telling these kids that I don't like snakes and that I'm from the school the says snakes should be killed on sight, not taken as pets and carried around for people to gawk at. This comment really set the teens off! They attacked me with my own words--"How can you always tell us to not judge people and to be kind to all living creatures and then turn around and have hate in your heart towards snakes?!?!?!You're a hypocrite brain-washed by religion to hate snakes!!!"

So I said, "All right, hand me the blasted snake!" Then I held it for a while. They kept saying, "Oh pet it! Feel how smooth it's skin is." I successfully ignored these pleas and after about one minute I handed the snake back to them. Over the course of the next few hours, they made me hold the snake three more times to prove that I'm not a hypocrite. Damn kids.....I still hate snakes....