createdestiny (createdestiny) wrote,

  • Music:

Life is Like a Box of Free Kittens

Oh, the simple pleasures of a 20 oz. blended Oreo cookie latte with non-fat milk, no whipped cream and an extra shot of espresso!

I must say, I saw Little Miss Sunshine last weekend and it was fabulous! You can't beat an ending like that with a stick. Maybe with a purple sparkly magic wand with pink streamers and a shiny silver star on the tip but certainly not with just any ol' stick.

Have we reached the point in history when urinary tract infections can no longer be cured by any number of antibiotics? Am I going to have to have my vagina removed? At my funeral please play "Uncle John's Band." I doubt if this is allowed at Eastern Orthodox funerals, so have a reception afterward and play the song then. And eat nachos in rememberance of me. Don't feel bad. No really, have some salsa with that. I had a full life. Thanks for coming.

Why can't a bunch a gay beef-cakes get together and have a shirtless car wash every weekend? I would support this. I need my car washed and I need to look at semi-nude gay men suddsing up my car. I'm sorry but that's the awful truth about me. I'm not asking that they wax their chests. I'm not even asking that they be beefy. Just gay and washing my car. With their shirts off. Or wearing tight wife-beaters, black leather hats and eye-liner. And I would prefer if at least one of them resembled Michael Stipe in some fashion. If they could all be dancing and singing Broadway show tunes while washing my car, that would be even better. I understand if you need to de-friend me now. But before you do that, remember this saying: "Let he who is without a twinge of gayness cast the first fistful of glitter."
Tags: humor

  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.