BF: (indignant) "I'm eating cheesy buns and watching a video of a monkey riding a horse right now."
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ME: "We need to check the tire pressure on the van."
BF: "You're such a diesel dyke."
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ME: "Stop picking that thing on your leg or it will grow into a dick."
BF: "I hope so. Then I can quit my job and change my name to Two Dick Dirk and make money off the internet."
***(later, as we're driving past a meadow on the way to Naked Lake)***
BF: "If the end of the world comes, I'm just going to come up to this meadow and live here."
ME: "Well, if that happens, I'll make you a sign that says, 'Two Dick Dirk's Apocalyptic Meadow'."
