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Super Crazy Burrito Devastation

For years I've been treating myself to the best Mexican food in Chico, purchased at the walk-up window at a dive-y liquor store next to a homeless shelter. It's the bomb diggity, yo, and cheap, too, but now I can't go there any more.

"Raul" at the Crazy Taco walk-up window had been rolling the fat ones for me for six years. I always tipped him good, too. When he saw me walk up to that window he knew I wanted one of two things: either a Super Crazy Chicken Burrito with everything or a Veggie Burrito, no cheese, no sour cream.

But my Crazy Taco times ended when he asked me one night at the window if I had a phone number. "Yes," I replied, "but I don't think my boyfriend would want me to give it to you." He turned red, apologized and backed quickly away. I grabbed my burrito and sauntered off, feeling too embarrassed to ask for limes and jalapeños.

When I got home I told my boyfriend that he best cater to my every whim because I have options. "What kind of options?" He demanded to know. I told him about Raul at the Crazy Taco walk-up window. He jokingly threatened to call immigration. I informed him that any further interactions with Raul would make me feel uncomfortable and thus he (the boyfriend) would have to become my burrito-fetching bitch from here on out. "Call me everyday day before you get off work to see if I want a burrito," I ordered.

But he REFUSES, people!!! Flat out refuses to go to Crazy Taco and fetch me my Mexican delights! He's daunted by the transient population that often loiters in the parking lot, asking for spare change. He's too Gringo to handle speaking to anyone who may not understand his murmured English perfectly when he orders. He tries to deter me with allegations of unsanitary conditions. When I threaten to run off with Raul just so I can get free burritos he laughs and says, "Go ahead!"

Of course I'm pissed and depressed but what can I do? I've searched high and low for a new Taco Truck to replace my beloved Crazy Taco, but nothing can compare. Nothing compares to the Crazy Taco walk-up window at Duke's Liquor Store!

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your Crazy Taco away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your Crazy Taco away
Since u been gone I can eat whatever I want
I can eat whatever I choose (except for you)
I can get my dinner from another Taco truck
But nothing
Nothing compares 2 u
I could put my mouth around every burrito I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I know that living with u baby was sometimes hard
(like when I didn't have no dinero)
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u



( 30 comments — Leave a comment )
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Jul. 12th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)
lol at the taco truck lyrics
Jul. 12th, 2006 01:21 am (UTC)
the fact that he turned red and apologized tells me that the coast is clear. no problemo.
Jul. 12th, 2006 02:14 am (UTC)
I second this sentiment, right down to the "silly goose" of it!

It's ok to hate your boyfriend for being a whiny baby, but it's not ok to deprive yourself of either a Super Crazy Chicken Burrito with everything or a Veggie Burrito, no cheese, no sour cream for the rest of your life, fer cryin' out loud.

Now git goin'.
(no subject) - createdestiny - Jul. 12th, 2006 03:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bug_311 - Jul. 14th, 2006 07:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 12th, 2006 01:29 am (UTC)
Dude, just go back to Crazy Taco. Raul will get over you.
Jul. 12th, 2006 02:43 am (UTC)
It'd probably be worse for Raul to see some guy coming every day with your same order. Then he'd be even more embarrassed. Or kill your boyfriend so you could go live in happy taco land forever.

Part of the reason I don't want to leave Western NY is the existence of two fantastic taco places. I feel bad for people that can't do any better than Taco Bell.
Jul. 12th, 2006 03:21 am (UTC)
NY has taco places?!?!?! Well I never! Oh...you said WESTERN NY. Well that explains it. I'm still a bit surprised though. My friends in Buffalo says there's no good Mexican places.
(no subject) - somethinghead - Jul. 12th, 2006 03:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - nodressrehersal - Jul. 12th, 2006 02:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 12th, 2006 04:24 am (UTC)
Crazy taco
hmm, I say go back to Crazy Taco if boyfriend won't. loved the lyrics:)
Jul. 12th, 2006 10:33 am (UTC)
Mmmmm tacos. Go back! Back to the tacos and to hell with embarrassment!
Jul. 12th, 2006 12:04 pm (UTC)
This is the best post ever.
Jul. 12th, 2006 02:54 pm (UTC)
LOL! beautiful song, you missed your calling.
Go back to the crazy taco, I had a chat with Raul.
Jul. 12th, 2006 03:16 pm (UTC)
an IDEA!
shave your head like o'connor and Ringo or Raul (whatever his name is) might not notice you!
oh...and your great by the way.
Jul. 12th, 2006 09:44 pm (UTC)
I do not LOL and I LOL'ed. Death to me.
My goodness, I think those modified Skinhead O'Connor lyrics are going to make your comment box go boom.
Jul. 12th, 2006 09:46 pm (UTC)
Darling you've got to let me know
Is it yes or is it no
If you say you want a Crazy Burrito
I'll go get one from that Whacky Bandito
So you've got to let me know
Is it yes or is it no

It's always please please please
You're happy when it has lots of cheese
One day it's veggie one day it's not
Better come get it while it's still hot
Well, come on and let me know
Is it yes or is it no?

Should I get veggie or should I get chicken now?
Should I get veggie or should I get chicken now?
If I get veggie it won't have no sour cream
And if I get the wrong one you will scream
So come on and let me know...

(apologies to The Clash)
Jul. 13th, 2006 12:17 am (UTC)
Yes! Yes! Yes! You know what days I want the Veggie one, now git to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jul. 13th, 2006 03:25 pm (UTC)
I agree. Denying yourself burritos you've eaten for years is muy loco! Your body might go into shock! Why the shame? I'd play it up, flirt a bit and maybe score more food!!

But then maybe I'm not a very good GF.

And where are those pics you promised?!
Jul. 14th, 2006 07:29 pm (UTC)
George! I'm ashamed of you! Have you learned nothing from hanging out with a 1/2 bean all these years?! You cannot make eye contact, much less flirt with these crazy Mexican men... Not even for all the Mexican food riches in the world!
(no subject) - dietcokehed - Jul. 14th, 2006 08:07 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 14th, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
Dude, I tried that taco truck a few days ago and I wasn't all that impressed. I didn't try the fish tacos though...
Jul. 14th, 2006 04:24 pm (UTC)
ahahahahaha you are too funny! what is gringo?
Jul. 15th, 2006 01:13 am (UTC)
Gringo is a disparaging term for foreigners (especially Americans and Englishmen) aka "white people."
(no subject) - thejuicyone - Jul. 17th, 2006 03:14 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 14th, 2006 07:30 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah, and if I haven't said this before... I LOVE YOU. :D
You always make me laugh.
Jul. 15th, 2006 01:14 am (UTC)
Aw shucks.
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( 30 comments — Leave a comment )