createdestiny (createdestiny) wrote,
createdestiny
createdestiny

Super Crazy Burrito Devastation

For years I've been treating myself to the best Mexican food in Chico, purchased at the walk-up window at a dive-y liquor store next to a homeless shelter. It's the bomb diggity, yo, and cheap, too, but now I can't go there any more.

"Raul" at the Crazy Taco walk-up window had been rolling the fat ones for me for six years. I always tipped him good, too. When he saw me walk up to that window he knew I wanted one of two things: either a Super Crazy Chicken Burrito with everything or a Veggie Burrito, no cheese, no sour cream.

But my Crazy Taco times ended when he asked me one night at the window if I had a phone number. "Yes," I replied, "but I don't think my boyfriend would want me to give it to you." He turned red, apologized and backed quickly away. I grabbed my burrito and sauntered off, feeling too embarrassed to ask for limes and jalapeños.

When I got home I told my boyfriend that he best cater to my every whim because I have options. "What kind of options?" He demanded to know. I told him about Raul at the Crazy Taco walk-up window. He jokingly threatened to call immigration. I informed him that any further interactions with Raul would make me feel uncomfortable and thus he (the boyfriend) would have to become my burrito-fetching bitch from here on out. "Call me everyday day before you get off work to see if I want a burrito," I ordered.

But he REFUSES, people!!! Flat out refuses to go to Crazy Taco and fetch me my Mexican delights! He's daunted by the transient population that often loiters in the parking lot, asking for spare change. He's too Gringo to handle speaking to anyone who may not understand his murmured English perfectly when he orders. He tries to deter me with allegations of unsanitary conditions. When I threaten to run off with Raul just so I can get free burritos he laughs and says, "Go ahead!"

Of course I'm pissed and depressed but what can I do? I've searched high and low for a new Taco Truck to replace my beloved Crazy Taco, but nothing can compare. Nothing compares to the Crazy Taco walk-up window at Duke's Liquor Store!


It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since u took your Crazy Taco away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since u took your Crazy Taco away
Since u been gone I can eat whatever I want
I can eat whatever I choose (except for you)
I can get my dinner from another Taco truck
But nothing
Nothing compares 2 u
I could put my mouth around every burrito I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I know that living with u baby was sometimes hard
(like when I didn't have no dinero)
But I'm willing to give it another try
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Nothing compares
Nothing compares 2 u
Tags: humor
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