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Smoking and Resentment

Oh Man, I want a cigarette sooo bad. I quit smoking 8 years ago, but being around my sister, who smokes, is really giving me cravings. I really don't want to cave in. But I want to, you know?

For dinner my mom made her old-fashioned macaroni and cheese and I made Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato sandwiches. I used Morning Star Farms Vegetarian "bacon", which ROCKS, but my brother-in-law (who had eaten a peanut butter and jelly sandwich as soon as he got home from work because he just "could not wait") stood there and criticized my cooking the whole time, which just made me want a cigarette THAT much more.

For a long time I've believed that cigarette smoking and resentment go hand in hand, one feeds the other. When I quit smoking 8 years ago it was bound up with a flood of heavenly grace that spontaneously welled up within me and inspired me to stop "hating" God and start forgiving others.

Now that resentment is welling up in me again, and of course I want a cigarette. God help me!


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 27th, 2004 06:08 pm (UTC)
Personally, I think you deserve a medal for spending an extended period of time with your sister, brother-in-law and mother. I couldn't do it...I'd lose my patience after a few hours.

I've never smoked cigarettes in my life, but I think the situation you're in would make me pick up the habit.

May. 28th, 2004 06:01 am (UTC)
Somehow I suspect that it's not as bad as I'm making it sound....or maybe I'm just trying to think good thoughts.......
May. 29th, 2004 08:57 pm (UTC)
Actually, the closest Church to you is St. Joseph; it's Antiochian. It's about 15 minutes from you I think.
St. Joseph Orthodox Church
10644 Hammerly Blvd.
Houston, TX 77043
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )