createdestiny (createdestiny) wrote,

The Usual

I woke up early this morning and took the dog to the park. On the way back to the house I stopped at my favorite coffee place and got a soy latte with a shot of peppermint. Before I could have my first sip, the dog knocked it out of my hands and onto the ground. I didn't get upset, you see, because God was with me. He told me that when I got home I could guilt-trip my boyfriend into going and getting me another one. I love God sometimes.

I also love my boyfriend and here's why:

1. I was taking a cat nap yesterday when he came home from work, crawled into bed with me and told me that he knew what he was going to get me for my birthday but it would have to be several months late. When I asked what it was, he said that he wanted to send me to a writer's conference this fall in Big Sur. I told him that he was being ridiculous because it costs $600 to attend this conference. He was serious about trying to make it happen but I told him there was no way. Secretly I am stunned and near tears to think that he believes in me enough to even consider this.

2. For some unknown reason he has washed the dishes every day this week. I'm a little suspicious, but I'm sure I'll get over it as soon as I hire a private detective to find out just what in the Sam hell is going on here! [I don't know what "Sam hell" is but my mother used to refer to it frequently when I was growing up.]

3. When he wakes up in the morning the first words out of his mouth are never, "Go fix me a chicken pot-pie, bitch!" or "My son-of-a-bitch asshole boss can fuck off today!" but rather, "How are you feeling, baby?" I don't know why he asks this but I like it.

4. A few days ago I asked him if I was a domineering bitch. He cowered in a corner and said, "No, mommy, no!"

Okay, enough of that.

I saw LCD Sound System on Letterman and realized that I too, would like to play the cow bell. During a commercial break, God revealed to me that cats are his way of saying, "I love you" and "Fuck off" at the same time.

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