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Random Shiite

"I will punch you, I will punch you, I will punch you in the nuts!" This appears to be my new mantra. I chant this to myself silently all day long and I say it aloud to my boyfriend at least ten times per day. "Why, baby?" He never fails to ask. My answer is always, "I don't know."

Yesterday I said something to him that I've never said to another man. "I need you to drop your pants and grab your ankles because I'm gonna put some of this cream on your butt." He refused to comply. Some men get so testy about their butt.

We have a new cat now. His name is Jimmy (aka "Jimmy-Jonga"). He showed up at our house with an injured paw. $349.00 later, I decide he's rightfully ours. I think he might be brain-damaged. No cat should ever be that happy, especially with a cone wrapped around his head and a drainage tube going straight through his paw. I wish I could be that happy.

Yesterday I went for a walk and was filled with an inexplicable sadness watching some kids play baseball in the park. Maybe it's because I have a nephew many, many miles away who is proving to be quite the little superstar pitcher and I've never even seen him play once. Maybe it's because I always wanted to play Little League when I was a kid but was told that we couldn't afford it. If we had put up my little sister for adoption like I wanted to, maybe I would have been able to play. Why, why, why did my parents insist on keeping her thereby depriving me of humiliating memories of Little League baseball which I could be in therapy for right now?!

Besides begging my parents to let me play baseball, I also used to beg them every summer to let me go to this camp called "Turkey Run Bible Camp." Thank you mom and dad, for not letting me go. Something about "Turkey Run" mixed with "Bible" frightens me now. So far, this is the only thing my parents have done right.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 15th, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC)
Jub-Jub isn't brain damaged!

You could start playing softball now if you want.

Keep your lotion away from me!
Mar. 15th, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
I want to play Little League!!!!!!!!!!!

And punch little kids in the nuts!
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 16th, 2005 12:52 am (UTC)
It's hysterical!
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 16th, 2005 02:36 am (UTC)
Luckily, my boyfriend is a pretty good sport.
Mar. 16th, 2005 12:41 am (UTC)
the only thing
..hard as they may try, parents can seldom get everything wrong
Mar. 16th, 2005 12:51 am (UTC)
Re: the only thing
True...so true.
Mar. 16th, 2005 01:46 am (UTC)
I am hurt to the quick, you never told me you wanted to play baseball; I thought you said that you wanted to play polo. There was no way we could afford a horse back then and that's why I said no.
Have I told you lately that I love you? I do.
Mar. 16th, 2005 04:47 am (UTC)
"I will punch you, I will punch you, I will punch you in the nuts!" sounds ... strangely familiar.
(Deleted comment)
Mar. 18th, 2005 02:19 am (UTC)
We had to give him anti-biotics for a week.

Snickers was a little hissy about Jimmy being in the house, but she's getting over it. I think the cone around his head kind-of freaked her out more than anything.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )