Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

I watched a doom and gloom documentary on over-population today. According to this documentary we've got about two more decades (resource consumption-wise) before the defecation hits the oscillation.

I have complicated feelings about bringing children into this world. Just like the bridal gene, I am also missing the baby-wanting gene. My sister Karma; however, had a double dose of it. She wanted nothing more from life than to experience the wonders of motherhood. She spent the first 10 years of her marriage trying unsuccessfully to conceive. She had fertility treatments. Nothing happened. She shed many tears and eventually came to terms with it. After a decade of not using birth control she miraculously conceived and had a healthy baby boy. One year later she unexpectedly conceived again. While seven months pregnant with this child, she died suddenly from a blockage in her intestine. It is my belief that the emergency room doctor blew her off as an hysterical pregnant woman who was over-reacting to normal pregnancy pains and therefore did not order the simple MRI that would have saved her life.

There's nothing like seeing your sister lying in a coffin holding her dead baby.

This is the complication: Babies piss me off. I don't like them. Because of that baby in her belly, she died. Because of that baby in her belly the doctor didn't take her condition seriously. It was bad enough that one by one, babies stole all my friends from me, but then one came and took my sister's life.

THERE IS HOWEVER; THIS: her last 19 months on earth were the happiest days of her life. She had her first-born son and was experiencing all those wonders of motherhood (*eye roll*) she had longed for and as much as I don't understand it, I take consolation in fact that she was happy.

I normally suppress my anti-baby-having feelings out of respect for my friends who have children. But I look at the world and I just can't wrap my head around how any intelligent person would want to bring a child into this world ON PURPOSE. I don't understand how my sister could have wanted it. I guess that baby-wanting gene overrides the part of the brain that says, "Hey look! There's the four horsemen of the apocalypse coming up over the horizon, probably wouldn't be a good time to have a baby right now!" [The four horsemen being Global Warming, Over-population, Plummeting Natural Resources and a Big Fat Money-Making War Machine]

Since over-population scares the shit out of me, and babies do nothing but steal and kill, I strongly believe that at this point, people should not be encouraged to have more than two children (even this is a HUGE acquiescence to accommodate those inflicted by the baby-wanting gene). If you have more than two, I think you should be bitch-slapped with higher taxes. I think the US tax system shouldn't rewarding people for having children by giving them large tax breaks. You should be taxed MORE, not less, if you have children (to pay for the extra strain you put on social services, resources, etc.) Reward less breeding, not more.

Even as I'm writing this I realize how completely fucked-up and repulsively Tea-Baggish what I have just said is. It's Tea-baggish because they bitch about taxes and the "Socialist re-distribution of wealth" whereas I have no beef with paying taxes because I believe in public parks, libraries, emergency services, pothole-free roads, stop lights, street lights, welfare, unemployment benefits and knowing that at least all children in this country can receive some semblance of education regardless of their class.

It's also fucked-up because obviously God wants a shit-load of people. Otherwise he wouldn't have made us so damn horny and fertile. I don't understand it, but I'm sure he's got his reasons.

It's also TB-ish (I can't bear to spell that word out again) in its hypocrisy because if people were only allowed to have two children, my parents never would have had Karma, their 3rd child -- my best friend and my soulmate. And the world cannot be deprived of Karmas, because Karmas are the beauty of the light of music. Karmas make us laugh hysterically and get high on dopamine when we're feeling serial kill-y. George Bush would be Marlo Thomas with a penis if he'd had a Karma. The world is fucked because it doesn't have enough Karmas. Our only hope is Karma.

Now, please excuse me while I go eat my own word-vomit in some absurd Hieronymus Bosch meets M.C. Escher landscape.


( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 19th, 2010 02:43 pm (UTC)
I totally agree with everything you've said. Granted, stuff happens like my boyfriend's mom wanting a little girl and ending up with triplets (the boyfriend being one of them) but I don't know why people try for more than 2. 2 is enough! (Soop had 3 and he pays like a zillion dollars a month in child support for them, leaving us in debt while his ex-wife and the family go on nice vacations all the time. Yeah, I'm a little bitter) One dude in my child-support court has 11 kids!!! The county attorney even said to him in court, "Did you not hear a voice in your head after at least the third child saying, 'Hey, there's obviously something CAUSING this to happen, maybe I should stop doing it!'"

Yeah, it's definitely not fair that they don't get taxed more for having children. Soop would be getting a wonderful tax exemption if his ex actually let him claim any of his kids. It's sad.
Sep. 19th, 2010 06:08 pm (UTC)
Dammit - I had a whole response nearly finished and the interweb ate it somehow. I'll try to recapture my thoughts, but no way it'll be the same. Grr.

First things first. When you sit down and put the proverbial pen to paper, you really kick ass. This is a marvelous post for a hundred different reasons.

Secondly, the circumstances or your sister's death are immeasurably tragic and have had an understandably profound affect on you, so I can easily see where you're coming from with the hating-babies stance.

We should all be doing what we can to address the issues those apocalyptic horsemen represent. But looking back over time, haven't there always been horrible things that threatened our existence on some level, or that people feared threatened their existence - plagues, wars, diseases - and yet here we are. Diseases that wiped out entire populations are now curable or non-existent. Health issues that dropped people in their tracks with casual disregard are now manageable.

Sometimes fear is a good thing. "What's that? A heffalump - run!" Other times, it can be an overwhelming, debilitating and oftentimes irrational force that keeps us from living in the moment and enjoying all that the universe offers us.

I totally agree that people should have to be able to afford the kids they create. We need more/better sex education earlier, and access to free, effective birth control. But that's doable, right? And people way smarter than me are working on renewable energy sources and lots of us are trying to "go green" and learn from our mistakes; but all we can do is the best we can do and hope that in time, our best will be good enough.

You're absolutely right - we do need more Karmas. That is indeed a solution we can confidently pin our hopes to. But I believe that Karma is a seed of light and laughter and magic that has been planted in the hearts of every one of us. We just have to figure out how to nurture it and make it grow. I just don't think fear is the Miracle-Grow solution we need.
Sep. 19th, 2010 07:27 pm (UTC)
I have my days where I try to repent of these negative feelings toward babies. I invent new theories to justify the existence of so many babies. Here's my latest one:

An unknown number of souls are in hell and their only chance of being freed from hell is to be born on earth. If you are born on earth, then you are now at the intersection of heaven and hell where you can work out your salvation. Providence has masterminded the working out of your bad karma by birthing your soul into a body, place and time that is customized especially for you in order for you to work out whatever it was that got into hell in the first place. Judged fat people in a past life? Now you are fat. Judged gay people in a past life? Now you are gay. Hated Jews in a past life? Now you are Jewish ----- that kind of thing. You will be reincarnated as many times as it takes for you to learn Mercy, Love, Humility, Non-Judgment and Forgiveness.

On earth you will be crucified in some manner, that you might be transformed. Mercy, Love, Humility, Non-Judgment and Forgiveness are not learned without suffering. Life will naturally provide you with the suffering that you need. Bitter medicine, but medicine nonetheless. While your heart will be broken in some manner in this world and you will cry many tears in this world and you will also laugh and experience joy and countless blessings in this world. Every breath of air is a blessing, every drink of water is a blessing, every piece of bread is a blessing, every safe bed is a blessing, every flower and bird and starry night is a blessing. This world is teeming with miracles and blessings. And yet this world is teeming with genocide, and massive environmental destruction and war and illness and misery. Truly this is an intersection of heaven and hell.
Sep. 19th, 2010 07:28 pm (UTC)
......Though this world is still a prison, it is not nearly as bad as the prison you were in previously, which was pure hell---where you thirsted and there was no water, where you gasped for air but there was none, where you longed for sleep and it eluded you. And you stayed in this hellish state for what seemed like an eternity until a human on earth said yes. Yes, I will bring you up out of hell, through my very own womb and quench your thirst with my own body. Even if you are born to a hillbilly hooker, it is still better that the hell you were in. Once you are born, let the suffering begin, that all the impurities of the your ego (which revolts against Mercy, Love, Humility, Non-Judgment and Forgiveness) may burn up in this fire and release you once and for all from this intersection of Heaven and Hell into the eternal delights of Paradise.

Edited at 2010-09-19 09:54 pm (UTC)
Sep. 19th, 2010 10:50 pm (UTC)
I like that latest theory; it makes perfect sense to me.
Sep. 19th, 2010 07:30 pm (UTC)
I realize I need to repent of this shit before I get reincarnated as the Otco-mom.
Sep. 19th, 2010 07:00 pm (UTC)
Most population models show the human population stabilizing/plateauing at around 10 billion. Concurrent with technological advances, we should be able to handle this. Of course, I'm one of those wacky people who happens to think that "Life" (or information) is self-organizing and has its own plan, and humans are just the carriers for this plan.
Sep. 21st, 2010 01:02 pm (UTC)
Of children
It's interesting to note that if we would not have had three children there would be no Dorothea to make the observation herein posted. There would have been no Karma to bring light into the world (Bobby) no Cathy to educate young minds to bring forth two wonderful children (only two) I never planed to have children and I never planed to lose a child but I truly believe that the world and all of worldkind will be better off for the children I (we) had. Doro continue to post your provocative thoughts, perhaps global enlightenment is just a post away.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )