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Oh, man.

I was talking to my sister karmajones tonight and we got a bad case of the giggles. I popped the button on my jeans and had to change my underwear when all was said and done.

It started when she asked how things were going with my new boyfriend. I told her I was talking to him on the phone the other night when I farted really loud. I thought I could get away with it because his hearing is kind-of bad in one ear. Unfortunately his good ear was pressed to the receiver.

“What was that?” he asked.

“Oh,….that…..was…just me moving some furniture,” I ingeniously explained.

“It sounded like a cow just died,” he replied.

This is when the gut-bustin’ began.

It only got worse when Karma told me that she was sitting in her cubicle at work one day when she farted, but the fart somehow got sucked into her, shall we say, "feminine cavern" because of the way she was sitting. She was distracted and didn’t stop to ponder the whereabouts of her missing fart. Later, when she stood up, the fart came loudly flapping out. A co-worker across the way whipped her head around and gave my sister the dirty look she deserved.

We both lost it big-time. I couldn’t breathe for several minutes and my bladder control was rapidly weakening. When I finally regained control I asked her if she had ever heard of a book called, “The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse*.”

Well, apparently this question sucked us both into the undertow of uncontrollable hysterics, again! Every 15 seconds or so a wallop of sound escaped from my throat. I was crippled, in severe pain and gettin’ all doped up on some kind of laughter endorphins at the same time. I know it must have sounded like someone was beating a baby seal to death in my apartment, but there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it!

*That's a real book I tell you!



( 11 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 8th, 2004 10:30 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry, I have to break up with you now.
Oct. 9th, 2004 12:20 am (UTC)
now THAT is a really cute icon!
Oct. 8th, 2004 10:52 pm (UTC)
Did the fart get sucked into the Hollow Chocolate Bunnies and that is why there will be an Apocalypse? Um, how would a fart get sucked in by a female part? Never mind. I don't want to know.
Oct. 9th, 2004 07:26 am (UTC)
Oh, you're killing me.
Oct. 9th, 2004 12:21 am (UTC)
Who wrote it?
Oct. 9th, 2004 07:10 am (UTC)
Robert Rankin
Oct. 9th, 2004 08:22 am (UTC)
HAHAHA, that entry had me cracking up.
Oct. 9th, 2004 10:20 am (UTC)
That can happen?!? Why hasn't anyone mentioned this before? How the hell did I get to be 34 years old before I became aware of this? My wife confirmed this, well, phenomenon.

I'm gonna go sit quietly for a while.
Oct. 9th, 2004 11:38 am (UTC)
Oh my god! That's hilarious!

I hate it when that happens...
Oct. 9th, 2004 06:46 pm (UTC)
Yep, in our thirties and we still crack up over farts and belches.

I remember once when another member of our family farted REALLY loudly, then got really still and slowly turned to me and asked, "Are farts supposed to be lumpy?".

Good times....
Oct. 9th, 2004 08:18 pm (UTC)
This post=hilarious.
( 11 comments — Leave a comment )