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I recently found a small feather hanging from my cat's tail. Assuming she had killed a bird, I plucked the feather from her tail and pointed it at her face while I lectured her on how her lack of awareness of how her behavior affects other creatures is the foundation for why I refuse to worship her kind as the ancient Egyptians may have done. I also questioned whether she would have any empathy for other living creatures even if she were to possess such an awareness, given the obvious disposition of her soul as one that is quite ungrateful and needlessly hissy. I explained to her that she will likely have to endure many more incarnations in order to reach a level of awareness and compassion that will be worthy of a final release from this veil of suffering.

When I relayed the above story to friend of mine she replied, "Maybe she didn't kill a bird. Maybe she's joined a burlesque show."

And that, my friends, is the height of positive thinking.


( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 7th, 2010 03:07 am (UTC)
I suspect that, in cat-like fashion, she didn't give a rat's ass about anything you had to say, either.
Feb. 7th, 2010 04:30 am (UTC)
Love it!
Touché, my friend!
Feb. 8th, 2010 06:19 am (UTC)
you have a very funny friend! and wow, you are a very involved cat-parent!
Feb. 12th, 2010 09:25 am (UTC)
I am a dog person who has constant dialogue with my little dog who I call an insane variety of bad names. I think 'Low down scumbag' is a general moniker than covers it. He smells and no amount of bathing seems to help. He loves to sniff very disgusting things. He trys to hump guests every so often. But the unconditional love is great and, what's more, he doesn't talk back. Talk about a perfect psychotic relationship!

You cat may be clean, but he / she has no excuse for being evil. We all know cats enjoy it. My dog is dirty and pathetically stupid and has no excuse for that, either, but I find it easier to deal with.
Feb. 13th, 2010 01:10 am (UTC)
What's her stage name? Kitty B. Ware?
Feb. 19th, 2010 07:44 pm (UTC)
Cats apparently eat you when you die (dogs don't). My wife is convinced that one of our cats wouldn't eat her dead body, period, and that the other will devour us before we're even gone.
Feb. 20th, 2010 03:02 am (UTC)
An old roommate used to tell me that cats will eat the eye balls of dead people first, before moving onto other body parts. Whenever I mention something about my cat to her, her response is always, "Eyeballs."
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )