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My cat is USING me for food, I just know it.

Some people donate their bodies to science when they die. I want to donate mine to art. Maybe they can find a cure for ripped canvas or put an end to trendy monster art.

I had Doritos for lunch today. In my car. In a gas station parking lot. I blame my emotionally-detached cat.

I feel like I have to get on board with every new e-trend/gadget that comes out or I'll fall behind and end up a clueless old woman wandering the streets unable to interact with the rest of society who will by then be communicating with micro-chips in their clit-piercings or something. It'll be called Clittering.

I was explaining the above fear to my parents and they said, "What is Twittering?" Clearly it's too late for them. Must. Save. Self.



( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 13th, 2009 05:51 am (UTC)
Meh. Twitter is for people that want to be able to rationalize their illiteracy.

"I had to write it that way, I only have 140 characters!"

Jun. 13th, 2009 05:52 am (UTC)
Jun. 13th, 2009 06:46 am (UTC)
Oh ha ha... wait, don't YOU have a Twitter account?

It's ok... old people think Twitter is stupid.
Jun. 13th, 2009 06:47 am (UTC)
And I meant that comment to go to ygolonac...

See? I'm just too hip and young and apparently, illiterate to use LJ.
Jun. 13th, 2009 07:01 am (UTC)
I do. I made it to see what the fuss is about.

I've made maybe 4 comments on it in that time.

I'm not impressed with it.

Color me old.
Jun. 13th, 2009 06:14 am (UTC)
l. o. l.

this is hilarious.


my cat might use me for food, though i still have hope.

i read in my car on my lunch break. eh.
Jun. 13th, 2009 12:08 pm (UTC)
Your lunch sounds almost as good as mine - a handful of swedish fish while walking down the street to my business partner's house. I somewhat redeemed myself by eating grapes for my after-lunch snack.
Jun. 13th, 2009 04:23 pm (UTC)
I've never had Swedish fish, only Nordic simple cells. Must. Catch. Up.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 13th, 2009 04:14 pm (UTC)
Ha ha, iClit, KTHXBYE.

Jun. 13th, 2009 03:10 pm (UTC)
certainly, the twitters are twatters. and, um, you describe something freakily akin to this book my husband is making me read (heheh) technogenesis by syne mitchell. contraptions not unlike the clitdiadems. oh. my.

p.s. of course your cat is using you. that's what their alien kind does. they also suck our brains from our ears. in tiny, tiny doses. it all powers the mothership.
(Deleted comment)
Jun. 13th, 2009 04:15 pm (UTC)
I know! Gawd! Make it stop!
Jun. 13th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
Jun. 14th, 2009 12:11 am (UTC)
My cats swarm me and love on me when they're hungry. Now I have the self feeder filled up, and the fat cat just comes by when I'm sleeping to cuddle. The retard, she comes and goes. None of that OMG I LOVE YOU shit while they have a plastic thing dispensing just as much food as they'd like.
Jun. 14th, 2009 01:29 am (UTC)
Cats are God's way of saying "I love you" and "Fuck off" at the same time.
Jun. 14th, 2009 05:09 am (UTC)
I can't stop laughing (or should I say LOL - which always seems more like lying about than laughing to me). Even the idea of talking about cats and fancy gadgets together is making me laugh. And our cat isn't even a lap cat. The only way he really likes to be held at all is back facing down with his feet spread apart. Don't ask me how we figured that out.

Clittering and iClit are oh so special.
Jun. 14th, 2009 11:50 pm (UTC)
That's pretty impressive that your cat likes to be held that way. I've never met a cat who likes being held back facing down.
Jun. 17th, 2009 12:12 pm (UTC)
Clittering is GENIUS! How soon can I start?
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )