Some people donate their bodies to science when they die. I want to donate mine to art. Maybe they can find a cure for ripped canvas or put an end to trendy monster art.
I had Doritos for lunch today. In my car. In a gas station parking lot. I blame my emotionally-detached cat.
I feel like I have to get on board with every new e-trend/gadget that comes out or I'll fall behind and end up a clueless old woman wandering the streets unable to interact with the rest of society who will by then be communicating with micro-chips in their clit-piercings or something. It'll be called Clittering.
I was explaining the above fear to my parents and they said, "What is Twittering?" Clearly it's too late for them. Must. Save. Self.
