Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

4 glasses of Pinot Grigio (aka "Greasy Penis")
2 Otter Pops
1 Captain Morgan with Coke

Dear Stephen Colbert:

Thank you for having Ira Glass on your show. I would have enjoyed your show much more if you had leaned across that table, slowly removed his glasses and tongue-kissed him ever so sweetly. Please do this next time he's on your show. I will name my vagina after you if you do.

God bless.

your # 95,728,531,403,832 fan


( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 25th, 2009 05:49 am (UTC)
An otter pop sounds like something the boyfriend made up to get you hammered so you would pass out and he could take advantage of the situation by ignoring you totally and getting on WoW while listening to DLR.
Apr. 25th, 2009 07:20 am (UTC)
I wasn't even there. She went out 'with the girls'. I was comfortably ensconced at home, slaying virtual evil until she interrupted me by stumbling up the steps to our house, singing "Shiny Happy People" while mooning the neighbors, petting our cat, which was actually not our cat but some stray that she managed to grab in our driveway.
Apr. 25th, 2009 02:41 pm (UTC)
that is classy.
Apr. 25th, 2009 05:32 pm (UTC)
It's also not true.
Apr. 25th, 2009 05:35 pm (UTC)
well, I didn't assume you mooned anyone. The rest sounds true though.
Apr. 25th, 2009 09:11 am (UTC)
It's real, bitch!

Ingredients for a Otter Pop

* White Rum
* Blue Curacao
* Sweet And Sour
* 7-Up
Apr. 25th, 2009 09:12 am (UTC)
Contrary to your "theories" the cat loves me when I'm drunk.
Apr. 25th, 2009 02:42 pm (UTC)
why is it called an otter pop? it sounds like something that happens when you freeze an otter onto a stick.
Apr. 25th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC)
From Wikipedia: Otter Pops are a brand of frozen snacks sold in the United States. The product consists of a plastic tube filled with flavored sugary liquid; after being frozen the top is cut off. The frozen juice is eaten out of the top of the tube, like a popsicle without a stick.

So it tastes like one of those. Mine was grape and sickeningly sweet. I will not be drinking Otter Pops ever again.
Apr. 25th, 2009 06:27 am (UTC)
Wow, you mixed sweet white wine and the Captain?
That's scary!

Otter pops, however, are God's Perfect Food.
Apr. 25th, 2009 10:37 am (UTC)
Re: Wow, you mixed sweet white wine and the Captain?
Not the perfect drink, however.
Apr. 26th, 2009 06:10 pm (UTC)
God damn it, girl, that was hilarious.
Apr. 29th, 2009 05:57 pm (UTC)
Not my Liver
Oh my! You take after your mother.
Apr. 30th, 2009 12:59 am (UTC)
Re: Not my Liver
In what way? You mean her vagina is named "Stephen Colbert?"
May. 1st, 2009 05:48 am (UTC)
I'm sad that you went out and got drunk without me! I'm a professional get-drunk person. :(
May. 2nd, 2009 02:43 am (UTC)
Oh Please! I read on fb about you going out drinking with out me ALL THE TIME!
May. 6th, 2009 04:50 am (UTC)
Great! Now everyone thinks I'm lush.

Oh who am I kidding? hahah :)

No seriously, one of these summer nights... YOU. ME. KRIS. PANAMAS. We will party like it's 1999.
May. 7th, 2009 01:21 am (UTC)
Count me in!
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )