September 20th, 2004

great wave

Talkin' More Smack About Texas and My Mom

Okay.

So I went to Texas a few months ago to visit my sister and some baby she just had. I posted numerous bitchy entries about that wretched state and it turns out I still have more to gripe about:

The straps on the purse I bought in TX broke this morning.

I had my eyes brows waxed in TX. They grew back!

I had my hair highlighted in TX. You should see my roots now!

The gay flip-flops I bought in TX stretched out so much that they now fit my boyfriend. He wears them when he needs to fetch stuff from his car. What will the neighbors think?

I never wear that gay, pink hat I bought there and my boyfriend is starting to eye that, too.

***

About my mom:

She's teaching a Women's Studies class at the university. I spoke to her a few days ago and asked her how her class was going. She said that many of her students are bratty, little twits who write crappy papers and then have the nerve to e-mail her when they get the crappy grades they deserve.

So I'm like, whoa, mom, take it easy. Women's Studies is supposed to be an easy "A". All female Women's Studies students are entitled to good grades just for having a uterus. Sheesh, get with the program!

At the end of the conversation she asked if I was still dating "that man", and I'm like, "Yeah mom, I know you wish I were some differently-abled, transgendered, lesbian welder from Afghanistan, but I'm still just some straight, white chick."