That damn mutant cat, who looks like my cat Snickers, entered my apartment through my pet door while I was at a BBQ with some friends and freakin' sprayed his unholy, male cat juices in my apartment!
Upon this discovery I began cussing and stomping around, when I suddenly hear this same blasted cat howling from someplace inside my apartment.
After much fuckedupness, it was discovered that this iniquitous feline had attempted to escape through the swamp cooler and was now stuck inside said swamp cooler's cylindrical innards in the most astonishing and entirely fucked-up way!
And when I say "stuck" and "fucked-up", I mean stuck and fucked-up!
It took three men and 45 minutes to figure how to get this blasted intruder out of my swamp cooler!
My pet door has now been permanently sealed and from henceforth, all mutant and foriegn cats not belonging to me, who dare to approach my mean cat-lady dwelling will be mercilessly squirted with water from a spray bottle!!!
Upon this discovery I began cussing and stomping around, when I suddenly hear this same blasted cat howling from someplace inside my apartment.
After much fuckedupness, it was discovered that this iniquitous feline had attempted to escape through the swamp cooler and was now stuck inside said swamp cooler's cylindrical innards in the most astonishing and entirely fucked-up way!
And when I say "stuck" and "fucked-up", I mean stuck and fucked-up!
It took three men and 45 minutes to figure how to get this blasted intruder out of my swamp cooler!
My pet door has now been permanently sealed and from henceforth, all mutant and foriegn cats not belonging to me, who dare to approach my mean cat-lady dwelling will be mercilessly squirted with water from a spray bottle!!!
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*shudder*
I was utterly amused by that story, I'm not sure why. I think it's because the cat got stuck, heh, that'll teach him. And how incredibly stuck he was, that's fuckin' funny!
And I TOLD you what was goin' on in there when you were gone, back when you were suspicious before...maybe next time you'll listen :P
Kill the damn cat.
You would however have to put up with a seriously hyper dog that constantly eats your garbage and throws up gigantic piles of dog vomit on your carpet.
Wouldn't a robot be cool?