I went to the Natural Foods Co-op on my lunch break to get a sandwich. I pay $12 a year to be a member so I can get 5% off my purchases. Well today, the chick rings me up and asks, "Would you like to donate your 5% member savings back to the Co-op?"
I was thinking, "Um, NO, that's why I am member in the first place, to save money!" But the whole place got really quiet and it seemed like everyone was looking at me, waiting for my response, wondering, "Is she a tight-fisted, cold-hearted capitalist, or is she a charitable soul who freely gives from the bubbling abundance of her hippy heart?"
So I felt pressured into saying yes, (grrrr)! Hey, I'm always up for donating to charities or children's hospitals, but making donations to food co-ops is not even on my white, liberal guilt list. I hope you're happy Chico Natural Foods! That's 49 less cents for the orphaned children of Nepal!!!!!!!!!
Also, what the hell is up with bell peppers? I'll tell you what's up, they suck, that's what! "Oh we're green or red or yellow and we're crunchy and people like us on pizzas and salads and crap." Well, let me tell you something you asinine little freaks of nature, you SUCK donkey balls so get the hell away from me and go back to the alien monkey butt you came from!