Log in

No account? Create an account

Previous Entry | Next Entry

Possible Coffee Withdrawl...

Normally my gripe hole is clogged with fear of getting hit by lightning for bitching, but right now some bitchiness is spurtin' out.

I went to the Natural Foods Co-op on my lunch break to get a sandwich. I pay $12 a year to be a member so I can get 5% off my purchases. Well today, the chick rings me up and asks, "Would you like to donate your 5% member savings back to the Co-op?"
I was thinking, "Um, NO, that's why I am member in the first place, to save money!" But the whole place got really quiet and it seemed like everyone was looking at me, waiting for my response, wondering, "Is she a tight-fisted, cold-hearted capitalist, or is she a charitable soul who freely gives from the bubbling abundance of her hippy heart?"

So I felt pressured into saying yes, (grrrr)! Hey, I'm always up for donating to charities or children's hospitals, but making donations to food co-ops is not even on my white, liberal guilt list. I hope you're happy Chico Natural Foods! That's 49 less cents for the orphaned children of Nepal!!!!!!!!!

Also, what the hell is up with bell peppers? I'll tell you what's up, they suck, that's what! "Oh we're green or red or yellow and we're crunchy and people like us on pizzas and salads and crap." Well, let me tell you something you asinine little freaks of nature, you SUCK donkey balls so get the hell away from me and go back to the alien monkey butt you came from!


( 20 comments — Leave a comment )
Aug. 16th, 2004 12:36 pm (UTC)
You really do need a coffee.

Perhaps the others in line just wanted to see what you would do, knowing that they too would be asked to give up their shares as well.
Aug. 16th, 2004 01:04 pm (UTC)
A) Bitching is good for you. Let the evil out. It's amusing.

B) That pepper rant reminded me of me. Not only because I like to bitch and complain about objects that can't fight back, but also because peppers are something I would feel very comfortable bitching and complaining about. Bell peppers ruin stir fry, salads, sandwiches, pizza, and just about every damn thing else they are put on. Not only do they taste bad, but they also leave their cursed essence on everything else, giving it all that pepper taste and stench.
Aug. 16th, 2004 01:39 pm (UTC)
Preach it, Brother!
Aug. 16th, 2004 04:10 pm (UTC)
Well, at least you know that your 49 cents will help keep a hippy kid in pachouli for a day. Didn't Sally Stuthers do a 'help the hippy babies' commercial once?

Bell peppers may be defenseless and easy rant targets but watch out for their relatives who can kick your ass and make you cry.

Aug. 16th, 2004 07:54 pm (UTC)
Hey, those hippies look happy! Is that you dancing in a skirt as an androgynous love child?
Aug. 16th, 2004 09:11 pm (UTC)
No, not me.

Here is me as a hippy kid.

Actually, my parent's were not hippys. My dad was in Vietnam when this picture was taken, I think. This was here in northern california someplace. My aunt lived in Paradise and we where visiting and out camping. I'm the one in the middle.

This must have been 69. My sister (on the dog) was born in Feb of 69. Doesn't my mom look fuckin groovy? This was in Germany. The dog's name was Barino.
Aug. 16th, 2004 09:22 pm (UTC)
Oh my God! You're adorable!

Your mom does look groovy. I take it you get your tallness from your dad?
Aug. 16th, 2004 09:33 pm (UTC)
I suppose I do. The men on my mom's side of the family are decent sized too. I seem to recall my UrOpa (greatgrandpa) was pretty tall. I was a little kid though, so everybody was tall.

I'm bigger than my dad but he's over 6 ft.
Aug. 16th, 2004 10:02 pm (UTC)
I noticed that you call you grandma "Oma" and now your great grandpa "UrOpa."
Where does that come from?
Aug. 16th, 2004 10:06 pm (UTC)
That's German. When I say that I'm referring to my mom's side of the family. Oma is gramma and opa is grampa.
Aug. 16th, 2004 10:37 pm (UTC)
My mom's side of the family is German too, my dad's, French.
Aug. 17th, 2004 07:20 pm (UTC)
I thought Mom's side was English. Dad's side was Acadian...which I guess is French twice removed.
But you were adopted when we found you left on our front porch in a basket full of Howler monkeys, so I guess that makes you South American. Ha!
Aug. 17th, 2004 07:28 pm (UTC)
You're the one who is an alien.
Aug. 18th, 2004 01:32 pm (UTC)
I hate bell peppers. And lima beans. I love veggies, but I could go my whole life without ever eating either of those foods.
Aug. 18th, 2004 02:25 pm (UTC)
Yeah, bell peppers and lima beans need to go to hell!
Aug. 18th, 2004 02:27 pm (UTC)
Back where they came from !!!!! Who thought up those plants as food anyway?
Aug. 18th, 2004 03:53 pm (UTC)
Must have been some veerrrryyyy desperately hungry Native Americans somewhere...er, if they came from America that is.
Aug. 19th, 2004 03:24 pm (UTC)
Lima beans are from Peru (or Guatemala) and have cyanide in em. You can use that as a reason to avoid eating them.


Aug. 18th, 2004 11:25 pm (UTC)
My mother vehemently insists that I looooooove bell peppers and won't listen to me when I tell her I don't and never have. The only way I'll voluntarily eat peppers is if they are stuffed with meat and rice.
Aug. 19th, 2004 04:11 am (UTC)
Actually it is best to take the stuffed bell pepper and stuff it....that way one can bypass the awful process of eating it. Karma your sister was not adopted (mom refused to sign the papers stating: ("I didn't order it, nor those damn monkeys"). :>)
( 20 comments — Leave a comment )