As you can tell by the scale, the spider is approximately 600 meters long. (Ha! Actually, that's part of a topographical map in the background.)

According to a field guide we have, Bold Jumping Spiders have elaborate courtship rituals that you can stimulate by holding a mirror in front of one. F*@king narcissists! Too bad we didn't know this before the Mister shook him out in the yard. That would have been interesting to see.
If I had found that spider I'd be in a padded room right now.