So I'm lathering my hands and arms up to my elbows like a doctor about to perform surgery and I start to panic.
I mean, What the Hell, Man?!? You don't just give an unsuspecting borderline germaphobe a letter hand-written by somebody with leprosy!!!
I tell another co-worker to google "leprosy" because I was just possibly exposed to it and he reads aloud to me from the World Health Organization website, "The exact mechanism of transmission of leprosy is not known."
Great. It's through hand-written letters, i just know it.
I wiped my hands, arms and my entire desk and keyboard with Clorox wipes. This chick is my best Chico girl, but I was tempted to call HR on her ass!
I snorted a couple of lines of powdered bleach and I'm hoping for the best. Unfortunately I won't know whether or not I have it for 3 - 30 years, because that's how long it can lie dormant in your body!
The google-guy reads a list of symptoms and I begin to feel each one as he describes it:
"Sensory loss is a typical feature of leprosy."
"Oh my God. I can't feel my face," I reply.
"And may be accompanied by a tingling sensation."
"My skin is buzzing!"
"You're very susceptible to suggestion, aren't you?"
"Those suffering from leprosy may also become euphoric and experience a heightened sense of well-being," he lies.
"I'm not susceptible to positive suggestion, though. Only negative ones."
Seriously, though. This happened and it's not okay.