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Life is Like a Box of Free Kittens

Oh, the simple pleasures of a 20 oz. blended Oreo cookie latte with non-fat milk, no whipped cream and an extra shot of espresso!

I must say, I saw Little Miss Sunshine last weekend and it was fabulous! You can't beat an ending like that with a stick. Maybe with a purple sparkly magic wand with pink streamers and a shiny silver star on the tip but certainly not with just any ol' stick.

Have we reached the point in history when urinary tract infections can no longer be cured by any number of antibiotics? Am I going to have to have my vagina removed? At my funeral please play "Uncle John's Band." I doubt if this is allowed at Eastern Orthodox funerals, so have a reception afterward and play the song then. And eat nachos in rememberance of me. Don't feel bad. No really, have some salsa with that. I had a full life. Thanks for coming.

Why can't a bunch a gay beef-cakes get together and have a shirtless car wash every weekend? I would support this. I need my car washed and I need to look at semi-nude gay men suddsing up my car. I'm sorry but that's the awful truth about me. I'm not asking that they wax their chests. I'm not even asking that they be beefy. Just gay and washing my car. With their shirts off. Or wearing tight wife-beaters, black leather hats and eye-liner. And I would prefer if at least one of them resembled Michael Stipe in some fashion. If they could all be dancing and singing Broadway show tunes while washing my car, that would be even better. I understand if you need to de-friend me now. But before you do that, remember this saying: "Let he who is without a twinge of gayness cast the first fistful of glitter."

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Comments

( 33 comments — Leave a comment )
ygolonac
Sep. 9th, 2006 09:31 pm (UTC)
Do you want gay or do you want Micheal Stipe? I don't think you can have both!
createdestiny
Sep. 9th, 2006 09:33 pm (UTC)
Oh, but I can!
ygolonac
Sep. 9th, 2006 11:46 pm (UTC)
You can't have your gay beefcake and eat it too!
roadkillmary
Sep. 9th, 2006 09:32 pm (UTC)
Gay men + eyeliner = one of my favorite combinations
createdestiny
Sep. 9th, 2006 09:34 pm (UTC)
Even straight men look sexier with eye-liner.
ygolonac
Sep. 9th, 2006 09:36 pm (UTC)
Well just forget about it!
roadkillmary
Sep. 9th, 2006 09:40 pm (UTC)
I totally agree. God bless eyeliner.
angry_man
Sep. 9th, 2006 10:00 pm (UTC)
Eastern Orthodox service and nachos at a reception?

You'll have the best funeral ever.
createdestiny
Sep. 9th, 2006 10:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Bring vodka!
karenleigh
Sep. 9th, 2006 10:27 pm (UTC)
This post cracked me up from the subject to the last line!
metalgypsy
Sep. 9th, 2006 10:29 pm (UTC)
at least i'm not the only one who loves gay men!
nodressrehersal
Sep. 9th, 2006 10:56 pm (UTC)
That's it, I'm seeing this movie tomorrow.

Oh, and I love saying, "You can't beat that with a stick". Do you also say, "It's better than a peck on the head"?

About that infection....are you drinking gallons and gallons of cranberry juice? That should help. Go ahead, google it if you don't believe me.
createdestiny
Sep. 9th, 2006 11:15 pm (UTC)
I believe you...
I tried this in the early stages and couldn't beat it.
metalgypsy
Sep. 9th, 2006 11:48 pm (UTC)
Re: I believe you...
i've heard cranberry juice only works for prevention and blueberry juice, in massive amounts, in what beats in when you already have it

nodressrehersal
Sep. 10th, 2006 12:47 am (UTC)
Re: I believe you...
Damn those drug-resistant strains!

This reminds me of a story my ob-gyn told when I was explaining the extraordinary measures I take to provide her a "pristine" work area. Apparently she had a patient who'd read about the positive effect yogurt can have on a yeast infection. The patient had somehow missed the fact that she was supposed to eat it.

Key-Lime Dannon, anyone?
(Deleted comment)
createdestiny
Sep. 10th, 2006 03:32 am (UTC)
I need to re-watch that one, it's been a while. Glad you like it!
robin_andersen
Sep. 10th, 2006 02:49 am (UTC)
hmmm
beefy gay men washing cars...I think you could sell this idea as a franchise and make a million bucks. I don't even have a car but I'd check it out...the only thing is you couldn't say they had to be gay...boy, you could retire in 3 months, I bet....
as to the uti, since the cranberry juice isn't working (_ugh_) you could try Vitamin C tablets. there's also an over the counter medicine (at least in the states) called, I believe, Azo-Gantrisin - it's supposed to clear up uti's.
I heard in certain circles that lots of beer clears it up, but I think that's because you don't _care_ you got a uti after that....of course, you know the standard stuff, no caffeine, lots of water, lay off sodas, no thongs (or so they tell me).....
not much help. oh well, sorry about that. But I do think you should go forward with the Beefy Car Wash thing...
createdestiny
Sep. 10th, 2006 03:33 am (UTC)
Re: hmmm
Thanks for the tips and the beefcake car wash support!
nodressrehersal
Sep. 10th, 2006 05:17 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
Ok, I've got it, our joint venture to financial freedom.

You open up the Gay BeefCake Car Wash, and right next door(for the not-so-interested-in-gay-beefcake clientele) I'll open up the new and improved TCBY FAT store. (This Can't Be Yogurt From A Twat)

(I'm sincerely sorry for crossing all lines of good taste...my independent brain did this, not me.)

But it would feature ladies standing on counters, dispensing yogurt via extremely well-timed Kegel maneuvers, followed by a hip swivel to produce the swirl on top. Sprinkles would have to be added manually.
createdestiny
Sep. 10th, 2006 06:14 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
OH MY GOD! This is freakin' hilarious! I'm dying!
nodressrehersal
Sep. 10th, 2006 06:57 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
Whew! That was quite a risk my independent brain took, exposing it's bad self in a forum that isn't even mine....
createdestiny
Sep. 10th, 2006 08:43 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
No, that was awesome! You should get paid for coming up with that idea!
ygolonac
Sep. 10th, 2006 09:06 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
Sprinkles being added manually would increase cost and lower profit. Perhaps some sort of sprinkle dispensing pasties could be developed?
nodressrehersal
Sep. 10th, 2006 09:19 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
Ohmygod, bad brain is SCREAMING right now, "Tell them I was going to say that, tell them I was going to say that and you made me stop!"

Anyway, bad brain's idea involved clear tubing traveling down the arms (under some lacy, gauzy-type sleeve thing)into air-filled squeezy things held in the hands of the ladies. They squeeze, a puff of air travels up the tubes into the sprinkle-filled vessel attached somehow alluringly to the chest area, where sprinkles are then *poofed* out.

Your dog-tongue picture is making this seem, well, perverse.

Who ARE you people, making bad brain take over like this?
ygolonac
Sep. 10th, 2006 09:33 pm (UTC)
Re: hmmm
We're from the government.
jennjenn71
Sep. 10th, 2006 02:58 am (UTC)
Kindred spirit
Pretned this has quotes around it because I am too dumb tonight to figure out how to italicize. Why can't a bunch a gay beef-cakes get together and have a shirtless car wash every weekend? I would support this. I need my car washed and I need to look at semi-nude gay men suddsing up my car. I'm sorry but that's the awful truth about me. I'm not asking that they wax their chests. I'm not even asking that they be beefy. Just gay and washing my car. With their shirts off. Or wearing tight wife-beaters, black leather hats and eye-liner. And I would prefer if at least one of them resembled Michael Stipe in some fashion. If they could all be dancing and singing Broadway show tunes while washing my car, that would be even better. I understand if you need to de-friend me now. But before you do that, remember this saying: "Let he who is without a twinge of gayness cast the first fistful of glitter." I would sponsor that in a HEART BEAT here. And we have some seriously awesome gay boys here. Surprisingly enough as annoyingly conservative as this place is we do have some beefcake in the gay clubs.
createdestiny
Sep. 10th, 2006 03:34 am (UTC)
Re: Kindred spirit
Okay! Send cash and let's get this party started!
gracegiver
Sep. 10th, 2006 04:00 am (UTC)
This was the perfect post to come home to this evening.

I'm so glad you're here on my friend's page.

And I'm so glad I'm here. And I knew you'd love Sunshine.

I'm glad, I'm glad ...
createdestiny
Sep. 10th, 2006 08:43 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'm really glad you're here, too.
faerieariel
Sep. 12th, 2006 01:39 am (UTC)
"Have we reached the point in history when urinary tract infections can no longer be cured by any number of antibiotics? Am I going to have to have my vagina removed?"

Go find "colloidal silver" at the hippie healthfood store. Make sure it is high-grade and sort of expensive. It will work. Eat cherries, drink cran juice.
c_inside_out
Sep. 13th, 2006 01:35 pm (UTC)
Haha. Man I LOVE you. Where do you come up w. this stuff? I miss the snicker songs!!! :(
heart.,
c.
p.s. you still a big fan of 'the sun?'
createdestiny
Sep. 14th, 2006 12:20 am (UTC)
YES, I still love "The Sun." One of my dreams is to have something published in The Sun, either a short story or a poem. They pay, you know!
thejuicyone
Sep. 15th, 2006 10:21 pm (UTC)
hahahaha i'd like that too
( 33 comments — Leave a comment )