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Twitterpated

We were spinning wishes in the phases of the moon that night when our burdens dissolved into a pool of liquid mica. You said divine rebellion is in the air and the darkness is ripe with receptivity.

We escaped the ravages of the Americans and you kissed all my wounds with the way you looked at me.

I brought you Spanish amber and orange blossoms, swept the rain from your porch, and threw flammables on your stars. Your wings were fractured stories that glowed moss-green in the night. In the morning my soul unfolded in concentric circles.

When you fell into a fever I undertook a vigil for forty days and forty nights at the tomb of St. Isadore, where the trees wept openly. I poured antidotes into the well, as the archangel instructed me, and watched your heart swell with joy.

Christ is a prism, you said, the universe is dressed in drag. Currents of light were pulsing all around you. Your tears were infinite mandalas. I had never seen anything so radiant. From then on we lived a life free from apocalyptic decrees. It looked like this:

an orange curtain blows back in a breeze, on the window sill a small terra-cotta vase with a woman's face sculpted into the side holds a single tiger lily. The walls are white. A gentle light, soft as cream flows through the window......

Comments

( 35 comments — Leave a comment )
marstokyo
Feb. 13th, 2012 04:07 pm (UTC)
Very evocative!
createdestiny
Feb. 14th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
myrna_bird
Feb. 14th, 2012 12:31 am (UTC)
Some kind of ectasy!
createdestiny
Feb. 14th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks. :)
lawchicky
Feb. 14th, 2012 01:46 am (UTC)
Trippy!!
createdestiny
Feb. 14th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading me. :)
jacq22
Feb. 14th, 2012 04:00 am (UTC)
Beautiful images.
createdestiny
Feb. 14th, 2012 02:37 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
alien_infinity
Feb. 14th, 2012 01:39 pm (UTC)
threw flammables on your stars.

I liked this phrase a lot!
createdestiny
Feb. 14th, 2012 02:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks so much for reading me. :)
halfshellvenus
Feb. 14th, 2012 07:56 pm (UTC)
Gorgeous writing!

I especially liked We were spinning wishes in the phases of the moon and threw flammable on your stars..

Not so much the universe is dressed in drag because it's contemporary slang, and nearly everything else here seems as if it could be as old as language itself. It suspends the timelessness of the rest of this piece.

createdestiny
Feb. 15th, 2012 01:27 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for making me aware of that....I agree, slang does not belong in this piece. This knowledge will come in handy next time. :)
halfshellvenus
Feb. 17th, 2012 02:35 am (UTC)
I was pretty sure you wouldn't have intended that, or I wouldn't have mentioned it. I love what you do with imagery in this story.

Perhaps "dressed in disguise" instead? Or "cloaked and costumed"? I know that neither has quite the same connotations as your original, but the flow is good and it preserves the alliteration. Which I tend to like, myself, probably a little too much. :)
(Deleted comment)
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:06 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
pixiebelle
Feb. 15th, 2012 04:33 am (UTC)
Wow, the details and everything are just so colorful!
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:07 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
roina_arwen
Feb. 15th, 2012 05:59 am (UTC)
Very colorful.
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:07 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading me. :)
jem0000000
Feb. 15th, 2012 03:59 pm (UTC)
Very abstract, but pretty!
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:07 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
jem0000000
Feb. 16th, 2012 03:31 am (UTC)
You're welcome. :)
karmasoup
Feb. 15th, 2012 10:40 pm (UTC)
Poetry and art. Love.
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:08 am (UTC)
Thank you. :)
snarkerdoodle
Feb. 15th, 2012 11:26 pm (UTC)
Really enjoyed the flow and feel of this. Ending with the more concrete description was a great contrast and ending to the the rest of the piece. Lovely!
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:08 am (UTC)
Thank you so much. :)
basric
Feb. 16th, 2012 01:25 am (UTC)
Well done.
createdestiny
Feb. 17th, 2012 01:45 am (UTC)
Thanks for reading me. :)
nodressrehersal
Feb. 16th, 2012 02:49 am (UTC)
Beautiful, beautiful images, words, language...
createdestiny
Feb. 16th, 2012 05:42 am (UTC)
Thank you, my friend. :)
whipchick
Feb. 16th, 2012 02:17 pm (UTC)
What amazing images - this is a lovely prose poem. I especially loved "Christ is a prism," and "in the morning, my soul unfolded in concentric circles."
createdestiny
Feb. 17th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
Thank you. I haven't set out to write prose poems....I think I'm just playing with word paint.
zeitgeistic
Feb. 17th, 2012 01:03 am (UTC)
This is so poetic. I really loved the ending with how it went from a sort of dreamy recollection to a vivid scene.
createdestiny
Feb. 17th, 2012 01:47 am (UTC)
Thank you for reading and commenting. :)
java_fiend
Feb. 17th, 2012 01:14 am (UTC)
Beautiful imagery and really sort of mysterious and intriguing to me.
createdestiny
Feb. 17th, 2012 01:48 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading me. :)
( 35 comments — Leave a comment )