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My sister, karmajones is a beotch and I'll tell you why.

She is the most hilarious person on the face of the planet and yet she refuses to update her livejournal on a regular basis, depriving me and millions of others of much needed comic relief.

I'll give you a few examples of why she's so funny after I bitch about her briefly.

Okay. She up and moved to Texas several years ago and had the nerve to marry some Texas guy which severely decreased her chances of ever escaping from that horrid state.

I was able to deal with that by getting my fill of her over the phone, but then she had to go off and have a BABY of all things so now when we talk she's always like, "Oh, hang on a second, Bobby's trying to eat dog food", or "Can I call you right back, Bobby's about to drink some Drano", or "I can't talk right now, Bobby just pulled a turd out of his diaper and now he's wiping it on the walls."

So now I have to share her with some little white-haired, chunky monkey, butt-nugget who poops and blows raspberries all day!

The last time I was on the phone with her I was trying to tell her about how my life is really crappy and depressing right now and she all of a sudden bursts out laughing, and I'm like, "HELLO?!? I just said I want to crawl into a hole and die and you burst out laughing?" And she's like, "Oh, sorry, Bobby just did the cutest thing, he..." [blah, blah, blah, I don't know what he did]. But then she's like, "Okay, what were you saying about wanting to die?" And I go on, "Everything sucks right now because... *and she bursts out laughing again*!!!! So I'm like, "HELLO!" And she says, "Oh, man, Bobby just tried to eat the cat, ha ha ha blah blah blah.."

So I say, "Call me back when Bobby gets his own damn apartment!!!!" CLICK!

to be continued.....

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( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
furthernorth
Aug. 12th, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
haha.. that's too funny.

my sister has 3 kids.
i have 0.
needless to say, i can totally relate.
dietcokehed
Aug. 12th, 2004 12:59 pm (UTC)
Though this story was funny, I'm sure there's more as to why she's funny. It can't be because she was ignoring you! Have you spoken to her since? Siblings can sometimes suck, that's why I never had any.

This is why I don't call people often. Not that I would comment on their cuteness, but it never fails, as soon as I dial the last number, one of them starts screaming.

"I can't talk right now, Bobby just reached into his diaper, pulled out a turd and now he's wiping it on the walls."<<
Patrick did this as a child. I told him that if our kids do it too, it's hereditary and he's cleaning it up! I was a good baby :)

Supposedly Nick's soul is the soul of the baby my mom lost when I was six. So my son is my brother (?) Madam Ruby told her this and that his soul would return to her through me. Funny, seeing as Emily seems to be her favorite...
createdestiny
Aug. 12th, 2004 02:01 pm (UTC)
Wow, that's a trip about Nick.

Yeah, Patrick seems to have a problem with wiping things on walls. :D

I'm not really pissed off (much) at my sister, but I am sad that I'm not the center of attention anymore when we talk. :(

BTW, I love how you used to tie your dog up and play like you're Wonder Woman! Why can I totally see that?!
ygolonac
Aug. 12th, 2004 08:34 pm (UTC)
This is why I just visit my friend's kids. Visit, play with them then leave before the turds start coming out.
lcurtis
Aug. 12th, 2004 06:22 pm (UTC)
Karma is funny, her letters entertain us, her comments on Bobby crack us up and she even smells funny. I think both of you inherited, your senses of humor from a passing stranger when you were conceived.
createdestiny
Aug. 12th, 2004 06:38 pm (UTC)
I think we got our sense of humor from mom.

She used to make goofy faces behind your back whenever you were going off about something and it used to crack us up.

Plus, she used to jump out of closets and scare the piss out off us and crack up laughing. Thanks to this warped way of being raised I now jump out of closets and scare people as a way of showing affection. That's also why I'm still single.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )